Last Friday 26th July 2019 our merry band of footballing misfits gathered at the Powerleague football pitches in Shoreditch, London to take part in the CIPA Informal’s 5-Aside Football Tournament.
Captain Matt “the Octopus” Veale
Oz “Leadfoot” Aydin
Becca “Spinner” Quiney
Harry “Bloody Nose” Bissell
Agnes “Topgun” Jung
Alex “Zlatan Ibrahimović” Shackleton
Jae “Always ready” Kim Kang
The team were in high spirits and played in four matches during the tournament. Captained by Matthew “the Octopus” Veale the game plan utilised a defence strategy; if nobody scores then nobody wins (and nobody loses) but this fell short when the opposition scored during the first match. Quick to adapt, Alex “Zlatan Ibrahimović” Shackleton went on the offence and bagged goal to even the score board. Unfortunately, more goals slipped by our goal keeper and a late ankle v shin pad tackle put in some damage to our players by the end of the first game.
The Wynne-Jones Warthogs put in a magnificent effort during the next three matches and despite being marred by blood and sweat they put their heads to the wind and kept going, adjusting their tactics using unique never-seen-before methods; Becca “Spinner” Quiney ignoring the ball and running in circles around the opposition to invoke confusion and Agnes “Topgun” Jung flying down the wing (literally flying) taking to the air pretending to be a fighter jet and coming down with an almighty tumble. The third game saw another goal from Alex “Zlatan Ibrahimović” Shackleton and
Captain Matt “the Octopus” Veale closed the tournament by sprinting down the line past the opposition team, cutting inside at the end to nail a screamer into the top corner.
While they didn’t bag the trophy, or any wins at all the Wynne-Jones Warthogs didn’t come last (one team didn’t show up) and are undeterred, reminded of the famous Rocky Balboa quote “But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!” the Wynne-Jones Warthogs are already talking novel tactics for next year!